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My Perfect Smartphone

Dear Santa,

This year, I’d like to have a phone that meets all of my expectations of 2016, not just some. I’d like to limit choosing between 2 bad choices to political elections. I’ve summed it up to my Top 5:

  1. Normal size phone I don’t understand why these manufacturers keep getting bigger – are they targeting only NBA players? I’d like to be able to use it with one hand and fit it in my pocket.
  2. A Battery for the Working Class I work more than 8 hours a day, and I’m not confined to a desk the entire time. In addition, I have to commute each way, then there’s errands afterwards, even the occasional workout. What’s the point of a battery if I constantly need a charger and a backup battery? And why would I care about standby time? That’s the equivalent of a car’s MPG as it rolls downhill in neutral. (Spontaneous combustion is not acceptable.)
  3. Wireless Charging It exists, I’ve seen it on some phones. I think it’s been long enough to become a standard. Then I can figure out how to integrate this in my bedside table.
  4. Waterproof I have no need to douse my phone in champagne or go scuba-diving, but I’d like to use it in the rain when I need to call Uber.
  5. Lastly, and most importantly – keep the focus on the phone, not on the apps. I converted from Android to iPhone years ago because the phone app always worked on the iPhone. The Android would take literally 5 seconds to open the phone app. At the end of the day, this is still my phone and my lifeline when in an emergency. Five seconds could make a world of difference.

And just to be fair, I am willing to give up these 5 things in return:

  1. No Headphone jack I’m willing to forego this oddly controversial feature if you can make the battery and wireless charging work.
  2. Camera does not take 8 Gigapixel pictures. I’m not taking pics for National Georgraphic with my phone. I just need a decent HD camera with some basic features so I can post to Instagram or print out some photos at Walgreens when I want to.
  3. Not always listening/voice activated. I’m good with using my fingers. If my hands are tied up, I have bigger problems. Still waiting for a necessary reason for voice control.
  4. Not Paper thin, curved, or a single piece of glass. I still need to put it in my pocket with my wallet and sometimes keys. What’s the point of having a super fragile phone if I need to wrap it up in another $40 safety case?
  5. Excess radio technologies – NFC, MST, etc. Guys, if Bluetooth is where we are headed, then let’s commit. I don’t need 6 different radios on my phone draining my battery.

And if you’re feeling extra-generous, here’s what I’d really love:
A true smart watch. Not just one that’s an extension of my smartphone. One that is capable of speakerphone, voice-to-text, & GPS/motion tracking; then pairs with a “handset” of my choice for everything else. And can you make it look classy – like a Fossil Q, and not like the Apple Watch?

Thanks Santa.

B. Parekh, Esquire IT

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